The Expectants II
by Wanda Wish
Summary: The story 2 and a half years in the making! After a loooong time, chapter 6 up! What's happening? Who remembers!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer-Nothing has changed. FOP is still not mine.

Authors Note- In the proud tradition of all unexpected successes, I have created a sequel. Yes, me again! I've been working on this since the last Friday of August, 2005 (aka Chapter 7 of The Expectants), and unlike The Expectants, it actually has a plot. Yay! And what a sequel it is! 99 more celebrities! 57 more special effects! An even though _everyone _has a Blonda/Juandissimo fic now, it was innovative when I started writing this, so don't say I'm copying. The next chapter might be a while in coming (I was hoping to see _Blonda's Have More Fun_ before posting this), but I'll play it by ear and see how it goes.

Wanda woke up with a start, and found she was shaking and sitting straight up in bed. She had just had a terrible nightmare. _It was just a dream_, she told herself, trying to calm down. _It was just a dream, it was just a dream…_

But why would she dream about that at all? Of not just being intimate with Juandissimo, but of enjoying it and loving him? She looked over and saw Cosmo sleeping peacefully next to her, dreaming his own innocent dreams. She lay down and gently rested a hand on his chest, trying to get back to sleep. But it was no good. The dream had been so vivid, she felt almost like she had cheated on Cosmo. Wanda got out of bed; it was no good just lying there thinking about it. She pulled on her dressing gown and left their room, going next door into the bedroom of their three-week old daughter. She floated over to Alska's bed, and looked down at her sleeping. Here was all the evidence Wanda needed to prove she loved Cosmo more than anyone else in the world. Allie stirred and began to whimper. _Right on cue,_ thought Wanda with a smile. Ever since they'd brought her home three weeks ago, Allie hadn't slept a full night. She would always wake up crying in the early morning, and because of the magic they'd put on the wall between their rooms, Cosmo and Wanda would always hear her.

Wanda picked her up and kissed her. "I guess you can't sleep either, hey honey?" Allie clutched instinctively at her mothers dressing gown, and Wanda smiled. Being a mother was great, and she was surprised at how quickly Cosmo had taken to being a parent. He completely adored Allie. He would hold her, play with her, talk to her, get up at night to comfort her, and even change her nappies. Sure, they were fairies, and all this involved was a wave of a wand, but it was the thought that counted.

Wanda sat down in the armchair in Allies bedroom, prepared to stay there until her daughter had fallen asleep again. This brought her mind back to why she was there in the first place.

"Why can't your Mummy just be happy with what she has?" she asked Allie with a sigh.

---

Meanwhile, in Fairy World, Blonda was having her own trouble. She lay next to Juandissimo, listening to him sleeping. He had fallen asleep easily, but she couldn't. She felt something was different. Juandissimo had been as passionate and loving as he always was, so it wasn't anything he had done. It wasn't her either. Something felt…different. No, different wasn't the right word. It didn't feel strange, or odd, or anything like that either. In fact, she wasn't even sure if she could feel it. It was more of a sense. She could sense it. She hadn't felt anything like it before, and she couldn't understand what it was. She sighed, rolled over, and held Juandissimo, trying to ignore it.

"Is anything wrong, my Blonda?" he asked, startling her.

"I thought you were asleep," she said, stroking his cheek.

"You woke me up. So, is anything the matter mi amor?" he asked again. Blonda thought about the strange sense in her body that she struggled to understand herself.

"No, I'm fine," she lied. She kissed him to reinforce that, and settled down in her, or rather, in their bed.

"Goodnight Juandissimo," she said.

"Goodnight, my Blonda."

---

Cosmo woke up the next morning, keeping his eyes closed. He felt rested after the first good night's sleep he'd had in 3 weeks.

_Maybe Allie's finally learnt how to sleep properly _he thought with a wide smile. He reached over to Wanda's side of the bed, wanting her to share in his good mood. When he couldn't feel her in her usual spot, he opened his eyes and sat up a bit, slightly put out. He still liked it when he could wake up and see her next to him, especially after their long separations while she was pregnant. He got out of bed to search for her, and headed straight for the kitchen. She was probably in there having something delicious for breakfast. His mouth started to water at the thought of it, and he hoped she would make him some too. However, his plans were disrupted when he reached the kitchen and found it completely empty.

"Wanda?" he called. He was so sure she'd be there.

Big Daddy (still in his pyjamas) pushed roughly past him into the kitchen. "You're blocking the doorway, Cosmo," he said gruffly, opening the fridge and examining the contents. "And if you're looking for Wanda, check Allie's room."

"Oh yeah!" said Cosmo, surprised he hadn't thought of that himself. "Thanks Daddy!" Cosmo quickly flew down the hall, stopping in Allie's doorway and smiling at what he saw.

Wanda was fast asleep in the armchair, holding a peacefully sleeping Alska. Cosmo grinned as he watched his two favourite girls in the whole universe. He could scarcely believe how lucky he was. Wanda had been absolutely right when she had said that their baby would bring them closer together. Their relationship had never been so good, even though they were a lot more tired these days.

Cosmo couldn't have asked for a better daughter either. From her tiny little hands, to her bright bubbly smile that could melt his heart, to her small shimmery gossamer wings; Cosmo loved every single perfect part of her.

He sighed contentedly; he liked these quiet times the best. It was just a pity they never lasted very long. Alska stirred, which was sure sign she was waking up. She opened her bright green eyes, blinked a few times, and began to whimper. Wanda jerked awake and was surprised to find herself in Alska's room. She noticed Cosmo floating in the doorway, smiling at her. She smiled back and said apologetically "I guess I forgot to come back to bed last night."

"That's okay," said Cosmo, floating over to her and kissing the top of her head. "I got a great night's sleep!"

"I'm glad to hear that, sweetie," she said, then sighed, remembering her own night. "I didn't. I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Cosmo, sympathetic.

"No, not really," she said with a small smile. "But thanks for asking."

Cosmo slid down into the seat so he was sitting next to Wanda. He gently tickled Alska so that she giggled. He leant his head on Wanda's shoulder and closed his eyes contentedly. This was the life.

Authors Note 2: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Ugly? All feedback and reviews appreciated!


	2. Blonde Bombshell

Disclaimer- I do not own, nor have in my possession, Fairly Odd Parents or Weapons of Mass Destruction. They remain the sole property of Nickelodeon Studios.

Authors Note- New year New life to The Expectants II! It's changed from my original version but I'm trying to re-write as close to the original as I can. There probably won't be another chapter for a while, as there's still a lot of plot elements that I'm desperately trying to remember, and I don't want to publish anything before it's ready. It will get published in its entirety though, whether sooner or later. Unless of course the whole story gets wiped again, in which case I think we'll all agree that it was just not meant to exist. So please read and review now that I'm writing again, because reviews are wonderful things and nourish me in my day to day life.

**1. Blonde Bombshell**

Blonda, glamorous star of _All My Biceps, _was not feeling glamorous this morning at all. She flew into the kitchen, wrapping her dressing gown a little tighter around her as she fought the feelings of nausea that were all too common to her recently.

"Sick again?" asked her boyfriend, Juandissimo Magnifico, who was already having breakfast whilst reading a magazine. Blonda simply nodded and sat opposite him. It had been two and a half months since he'd moved in; her first steady boyfriend for a long time. At first she had been cautious and wary; Juandissimo did, after all, have a long and well-known infatuation with her twin (something Blonda had never been able to understand). As time went on, however, she had seen that he was truly over Wanda, and that his somewhat disturbing but also flattering obsession was turning to her.

"I think I'll go and see Rip," she said, breaking out of her thoughts. "I really can't be sick right now, with filming and career commitments…"

"You are dating Ditch Davy," interrupted Juandissimo with a frown, reading his magazine. "You were seen with him two nights ago."

Blonda rolled her eyes and made an impatient noise with her tongue. "You know I went to that charity ball, Juandissimo, I just talked to him, that's all."

"Not according to these photos…"

Blonda snatched the magazine out of his hands with a frown.

"Oh, those are six months old," she said impatiently, throwing the magazine back at Juandissimo. She knew he was annoyed that he wasn't getting any attention or publicity, but deep down Blonda was perfectly happy with keeping Juandissimo a secret from the pooferazzi for a little while. It sure took stress off the relationship by not having speculations from the press every day about how their love-life was going.

'Now as I was saying, I'm going to see Rip," Blonda said again.

"Okay, do you want any breakfast before you go?"

"Actually, I'll just have some fruit," said Blonda, poofing up a peach. "I've really got to start watching my weight."

"Hmmm," agreed Juandissimo absent-mindedly.

"Excuse me?" said Blonda, putting her hands on her hips. "Are you saying I have put on weight?"

"No!" said Juandissimo quickly, looking up from his magazine. "Did I mention how beautiful you were looking this morning?"

Blonda's expression softened and she smiled charmingly. "Thankyou Juandissimo! I'd better go to the doctors now." Then her sweetness dropped. "We'll talk about my weight when I get back."

She poofed up in the waiting room of Dr Rip Studwell. Shuddering at the thought of having to spend time in the same room as sick, average fairies, she quickly flew to the receptionist's desk.

"I'm here to see Dr Rip Studwell," she said shortly.

"Do you have an appointment?" asked the receptionist, a youngish male fairy that seemed somewhat star struck.

"Honey, I don't need an appointment. Just tell him Blonda's here. He'll see me."

A minute after the fairy had paged Dr Studwell, she was permitted to see the doctor. Tossing her hair haughtily, Blonda floated in.

"So, Blonda, what can I do for you?" asked Dr Studwell. "More lipo?"

"At the rate I'm gaining weight I'll have to soon. But that's not why I've come to see you Rip. I've been throwing up a lot lately and I don't know why."

"Hmm," said Studwell thoughtfully.

"Do you think it's stress?" asked Blonda anxiously. "Sure, I have been feeling a little tired lately and the filming for the show's been kind of hectic, but I've been doing it for 520 years now…"

"No, I don't think it's stress," said Dr Rip. "You say you've been sick? Is it at any particular time of the day?"

"Well now you mention it, it is mostly when I wake up. Or when Juandissimo uses his violet massage oil. Usually it's not bad but lately I can't stand it at all. Is it important?"

"It might be," said Studwell cryptically. "You say you've been tired and you've put on weight?"

"Yes!" snapped Blonda, starting to loose her patience. "Rip, what's wrong with me!"

Dr Rip Studwell was quiet for quite a long time, narrowing his eyes in a thoughtful way and obviously reflecting on how handsome he looked when he was thinking. Eventually he put his hands together in front of him and said "Blonda, I have some good news and some bad news." He left a little pause to build the effect and to hear Blonda's small gasp. "The good news is it's not what you're eating that's affecting your weight. The bad news is you're pregnant, and that is affecting your weight."

Blonda was silent for a few seconds in shock before she laughed lightly.

"I don't think so."

"Well I do."

"You could be wrong."

"I could, but that's not likely." He gave himself a moment to reflect on his own greatness before continuing. "Blonda, I'm going to…"

"You're wrong," Blonda interrupted suddenly.

"No, Blonda, I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm… Blonda, we could float here all day arguing but it won't help."

"Yes it will."

"No it… look, if you really want to know if you're pregnant or not, I'll refer you to Dr Oyfele. She's the best obstetrician in Fairy World. She'll be able to tell you for sure."

"Good!" snapped Blonda, snatching the business card out of Dr Studwell's hand. "_She'll_ be able to tell me I'm not." Without a further word to the surprised looking doctor, Blonda poofed haughtily out of the office and into a street in Fairy World she'd never been in before. She found herself in front of a modern looking glass building which matched the address on the card. She pushed open the door and floated in.

"Hello?" called Blonda as she entered the empty office.

"Just in here!" called a cheerful voice.

Blonda floated through to a smaller office where a fairy with long curly hair and large glasses was floating with a wide cheerful smile on her face.

"You must be Blonda?" she said chirpily.

"Yes, I'm the fairy you're telling is not pregnant," said Blonda bossily. "Can we hurry this up please, I'm a very busy fairy."

"I'm sure you are!" said Oyfele pleasantly. "So I won't waste your time."

She flew over and stuck a thermometer in her mouth. "Studwell tells me you've been putting on weight and you've been tired."

"Owww!" exclaimed Blonda as Oyfele poked her in the stomach with her wand. "Yesh, bu' tha' could jush be from shtresh," she said around the thermometer. "An' I guesh I should jush …oh, thankyou… I should just get a new diet."

"Yes, you should, since you'll be eating for two."

"Excuse me?" said Blonda, rasing an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're pregnant," said Oyfele with a smile.

"No. I can't be." She saw Oyfele's raised eyebrow and smug smile and frowned. "Okay, so I could be. But I'm not!"

"Blonda, I have all the evidence I need."

"What evidence! You didn't do anything!"

"Yes I did," reminded Oyfele, twirling her wand. "And I could do it again, but you asked me not to waste your time."

"You don't know what you're talking about," snapped Blonda, folding her arms stubbornly.

"Blonda, I've been doing this job since before you were born. Who do you think told your mother she was pregnant with you and your sister?"

"Wait, it was you?" said Blonda, forgetting her anger for a moment.

"Sorry, doctor patient confidentiality!" said Oyfele cheerfully. "So, you still think you're not pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Oooh, a toughie eh? I haven't seen someone so strongly in denial for centuries. It's not just a river in Egypt, you know."

"What?" snapped Blonda at the doctors ramblings.

"Never mind! But if you really want proof, just think back. Was there any time after you and your partner had been intimate that you felt something was different?"

She watched as Blonda's face turned into one of triumph, then thought, then worry, then horror. _Yep_, she thought smugly. _That one gets 'em every time_.

"Oh my god I'm pregnant," whispered Blonda in horror. The suddenly her horror turned to fury and she started screaming. "I don't want it! I want it gone! I'm a celebrity! I don't have to deal with this!"

"Blonda," said Oyfele rather firmly. "You know as well as I do that we can't use magic to destroy another life. I'm afraid you're stuck with this baby. You know, when Wanda found out she was pregnant, she…"

"Well I'm not Wanda!" shouted Blonda. She let out a scream of frustration and anger and blasted a medical certificate on Dr Oyfele's wall before she got a hold of herself and her breathing calmed.

"Feel better?" asked Oyfele kindly.

"Yes thankyou," replied Blonda calmly. "Though I think I'm going to be sick."

Oyfele poofed up a bucket for her to throw up in. Giving her a few minutes to compose herself, the doctor continued. "Now Blonda, we have quite a few things we have to discuss. I suggest you cancel work for today."

"I think I will," agreed Blonda weakly. "And I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Can I keep the bucket?"

---

Later that day, Blonda poofed home. She was exhausted and emotionally drained and collapsed on her couch, putting her hand over her eyes.

"Hola mi amour!" called Juandissimo, posing and floating into the room. Blonda glared at him from under her hand.

"Go away," she growled softly.

"Ah, mi amour, this is about your weight, yes?"

Suddenly Blonda sat straight up and looked panicked, her hands unconsciously moving to her stomach. "What about my weight? There's nothing wrong with it! There's nothing! Shut up! Don't look at me! Go away! Shut up!" She quickly flew put of the room towards the bathroom, leaving a very confused Juandissimo behind. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He loved women, but sometimes they could just be so crazy.


	3. Blonda's Baby Blues

Disclaimizzle- Yo dawgs, this be the four one one. I is not, nor is I ever, be ownin' of Fairly Oddparents. You feelin'me on this yo? Catcha all on the flipside yo. Respec.

**2. Blonda's Baby Blues**

Blonda sat at the breakfast table, delicately sipping her decaf low-fat latte and perusing her glossy magazines. She smiled with satisfaction when she saw her photo on one of the covers and wondered what she'd done to be so newsworthy. Reading the headline, she spat out her coffee and gaped at the magazine, shocked. She quickly flicked to the relevant page and was confronted with a double page spread all about her. The title splashed across the top screamed "Blonda's Baby Blues"

She gasped; how could they possibly know? She frowned as she read the article.

"In a 'Fairy Soap Guide' exclusive, we can reveal for the first time that Blonda, hospital honey and star of the popular 'All My Biceps', could be expecting to hear the flitter flutter of tiny wings some time soon.

Blonda was spotted last week in the offices of some of Fairy Worlds most respected obstetricians, sparking rumours that she is expecting. While official statements have not confirmed the pregnancy, sources close to Blonda reveal that she has often confessed desires to be a mother. Though they remain tight-lipped as to who the father could be, speculation abounds that it's possibly Blonda's co-star Ditch Davy (who plays Dr Poofeverwish), often rumoured to be her long-term off-screen love interest. Official reports have always denied any romantic link between the two, but sightings of the couple have continually fuelled rumours their connection is not restricted to the screen.

When FSG asked Blonda's father and notorious underworld figure Big Daddy if he had heard anything to confirm the pregnancy rumours, he responded by saying 'If Blonda really were pregnant she'd tell me immediately instead of letting me find out from some second-rate cheque-book journalists'. When asked if he was aware of the rumours surrounding Blonda and Davy, Big Daddy made the comment 'They'd better not be true if he knows what's good for him.'

If Blonda is pregnant, and certainly all the evidence suggests she is, then the father of her unborn child should watch their step, and their back."

Blonda gaped at the article disbelievingly. Suddenly everything was far more complicated. She skimmed the article once more, her eyes resting on her father's name. Her father. She had to explain things to him, and soon. It wouldn't do to let him find out from another source, as had so very nearly happened.

"What are you doing my love?" crooned a voice behind her. She jumped with fright, turned around quickly and said "Nothing", poofing the magazine discreetly away.

"Are you okay?" asked Juandissimo, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," she assured. "I've just got some stuff to do today. I probably won't be back for a while."

"How long?" asked Juandissimo, gently stroking her cheek.

"It depends," answered Blonda snappily. "I've got some stuff to sort out with Rollo and then I thought I might see Daddy."

"Okay. But Blonda, you are so tense, you should relax…" Juandissimo moved his hands to her shoulders which he started to massage. Blonda irritably shrugged him off as she felt herself begin to calm.

"There's no time for that Juandissimo, I have things to do." She poofed away and reappeared outside the door to the office of her publicist. She knocked loudly and shouted, "I know you're in there Rollo! Open up right now!" The door swung open and a voice with an English accent called "Well then come in baby!"

Blonda stormed into the room to see Rollo, her publicist for millennia, leaning back in his black leather chair, his feet on the desk and his usual cocky grin on his face.

She scowled at him, poofed up the magazine and slammed it on the desk. Still grinning, Rollo picked it up and flipped to the offending pages. "It's good, isn't it darling? Not an angle I would've covered myself; never did see you as the motherin' type. Did you plant this?"

"No I didn't," she fumed. "It's not a story Rollo, it's true. I really am pregnant."

He gaped at her, all traces of his previous humour gone. "You aren't," he said, slowly shaking his head. "No way. You aren't. Are you?"

"Yes, of course I am," snapped Blonda. "Why would I make something like this up?"

"For attention," said Rollo with a shrug. "But for it to be true…I never thought…I mean…you of all fairies…"

"I know," said Blonda with a sigh, slumping into one of the chairs.

"Well, uhm, congratulations I guess," said Rollo, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Shut up," snapped Blonda.

Rollo raised his hands defensively. "Okay, I'm sorry. So how did Juandissimo take it when you told him the news?"

"Huh?" said Blonda, momentarily lost in her own thoughts.

"Juandissimo. When you told him. How did he react?"

"Oh. Uhm, well…" said Blonda, shifting in her seat.

Rollo's grin returned. "Oh, this is just too good. You haven't told him have you?"

Blonda opened her mouth angrily, closed it, then snapped, "Well I'm going to! I just haven't found the right time yet!"

"Hah!" said Rollo, clapping his hands together. "You've known for a week and you haven't even told your own boyfriend! I suppose it is his, isn't it?"

"Yes of course it is!" snapped Blonda, glaring at him.

"Okay, just checking," said Rollo, a smile still playing on his face. Then he leant forward in his seat, slightly more serious. "Now that the pleasantries are over Blonda, we need to go into serious damage control. We're going to need to prepare a press statement…we could only leave it another two months maximum before people will start to notice… this is going to be great publicity…pregnancy's all the fashion now… though adoption possibly would have been better, the public loves a celebrity who adopts…"

"Excuse me!" said Blonda loudly, yanking her agent out of his scheming. "Before you release anything to anyone, I have to tell my family. Wanda would never let me forget it if she found out in a magazine and Daddy would disown me."

"What? Family? Oh, yes of course! Well then tell them soon! I want to get this news out while the gossip is still hot."

"Fine," said Blonda. "Oh, and you can name Juandissimo in the statement. At least it'll stop the rumours about me and every single male in Fairywood."

Rollo was speechless for a moment as a large smile crossed his face and tears of happiness sprang to his eyes. "You're giving me Juandissimo?" he asked breathlessly, as if he thought talking too loudly might make her change her mind. "I can really release the news about you two? Finally?"

"Yes," said Blonda with an impatient sigh. "You may as well. Though I don't know how much longer we'll last once I tell him about this." Blonda suddenly gasped as she thought of something. "And what's the studio going to think! Can they write the pregnancy in?" She went pale as she thought of something terrible. "Would they put me in a coma?"

"Blonda, honey sweetie baby, you'll be fine," said Rollo with a dismissive hand. "Leave the studio to me; I guarantee they'll love this. It's probably gonna boost ratings."

"You haven't been wrong yet Rollo, so I'll leave it to you," said Blonda, floating up and raising her wand to leave. "Remember though, not a word to anyone until I tell my family. In fact, hold off as long as you can. I want to make the pooferazzi suffer and wonder if they have a real story or not."

"You got it babe," said Rollo with a grin as Blonda poofed out of his office.

---

Blonda reappeared in Timmy's room. She saw Cosmo cradling Alska lovingly in his arms, with Wanda gently tickling her belly so she gave her cute baby giggle. Blonda felt a distinct uncomfortableness at this tranquil family scene. It conflicted so harshly with what she felt about babies right now that she felt a sudden inexplicable anger towards the family in front of her.

"Wanda!" yelled Blonda. Cosmo and Wanda looked up with surprise at their unexpected visitor; they had been so absorbed with Alska they hadn't even noticed her arrive.

"Blonda, what are you doing here?" asked Wanda with surprise.

"I want to talk to Daddy," said Blonda impatiently. "Where is he?"

"He's at school with Timmy," Wanda told her, frowning slightly. "But Blonda, why do you…?" She trailed off as Blonda disappeared.

Cosmo looked at her, puzzled.

"What was that about?"

---

Timmy was sitting in class, completely bored. Crocker was droning on about something Timmy couldn't have cared less about. He was twirling his purple pencil between his fingers, watching the seconds tick slowly away on the clock.

He was jerked out of his lethargy by a small poof on his desk, followed by the appearance of a yellow pencil. Timmy was so surprised he dropped the pencil in his hand.

"Hey, watch it kid," growled Big Daddy. Then his attention turned to the yellow pencil by his side. "I thought you'd show up sooner or later," he said. Timmy detected a note of love and caring in his voice he'd only ever heard him use for Wanda.

"Daddy, I need to talk to you right now."

"Okay Blonda sweetie." Then he addressed Timmy. "You don't mind if I leave for a bit, do you?"

"Nah, go ahead," whispered Timmy. "It's not like anything's going to happen here." He watched the two pencils disappear from his desk and then let his brain switch off. Crocker was never going to hold his short attention span for long.

---

Blonda and Big Daddy poofed up in their normal forms in a secluded corner of the schoolyard. Blonda couldn't quite meet her father's eyes; she didn't know how he'd react, but she could guess it wasn't going to be good.

"I wondered when you'd show up here," said Big Daddy, smiling at her. "Did you see what the pooferazzi wrote about you? Hordes of them showed up here asking me questions about you being pregnant. You know, they almost blew my cover as a godparent. I set them straight pretty quickly though."

"That's great Daddy, but it's the pregnancy rumour I came here to talk to you about," said Blonda, working up some courage.

"Did it bother you, sugar cake? Because you know, I can have those journalists sorted out."

"No Daddy, that's not it. I mean yeah, the article bothered me, but that's not why I came. You see…"

"What are you going to tell me?" interrupted Big Daddy with a laugh. "That the rumours are true? That you really are pregnant?" He started to laugh until he caught sight of Blonda's face. "Blonda, you're not going to tell me the rumours are true. You're not going to tell me you really are pregnant."

"Well…" said Blonda, putting her hands behind her back at looking away at a tree in the distance.

Big Daddy closed his eyes and sighed. It was a sigh Blonda knew well; it meant her father was struggling to control his temper.

"How long have you known?" he asked, keeping his eyes closed.

"A week," answered Blonda. She knew this was the calm before the storm.

"How far along are you?"

"About two months."

"And why," said Big Daddy, his voice dangerously soft, "didn't you tell me as soon as you found out?"

Blonda took in a deep breath; this was a make-or-break answer.

"Because," she started, her voice cracking with emotion. "I've been so worried! I'm so stressed at the moment, I've barely managed to get my head around it myself and…and…and I was so afraid of disappointing you!" Blonda buried her face in her hands, but not without letting her father see a few well-timed tears.

Big Daddy looked at her daughter and felt his heart soften. He forgot his anger and pulled Blonda into a large reassuring hug. "It's okay sweetie, it's okay, I could never be disappointed by you," he murmured consolingly. Blonda rested her head on his shoulder and grinned. Her father was so easy to manipulate when she cried a little.

"Thanks Daddy," she said, pulling away after a few minutes and giving him a small smile. "You know, I haven't told anyone else except you. Oh, and Rollo, but he doesn't count."

"I appreciate that sweetie," said Big Daddy, gently kissing her forehead. "You should be able to tell your Daddy these things." He paused for a minute. "So when you said you hadn't told anyone except me, does that mean the father doesn't even know?"

"Yes," said Blonda with a bitter laugh. "And I'm not looking forward to telling him either. I just know Juandissimo's going to freak out…"

"Ah ha!" cried Big Daddy triumphantly. "So it _is_ Juandissimo! Just wait til I get my hands on that worthless little…"

"Daddy, don't you dare touch him!" said Blonda angrily, furious at herself for falling for one of her fathers traps. "And don't say a word to him until I've told him, do I make myself clear?"

Big Daddy growled at her. "I'm still your father, Blonda, don't talk to me like that."

"Sorry," she muttered in a tone that suggested she wasn't sorry at all.

They floated there, staring each other down for a few minutes, before Big Daddy sighed and pulled Blonda into a hug. He was always happy to lose these kinds of arguments to his daughters. "First Wanda, now you; my girls have grown up so fast."

"Yeah, we have," said Blonda, pulling out of Big Daddy's hug. "I should really go Daddy, I have to tell Juandissimo and it should probably be soon. Oh, and if you see Wanda before I do, don't tell her. I want to see the look on her face."

---

She reappeared in the lounge room of her glitzy house, sinking onto the sofa. She put a hand over her eyes and called loudly. "Juandissimo!" She started playing scenarios through her head of what he might do when he got the news.

"No! I am too sexy to be a father!"

"This is your own fault and I want nothing more to do with you!"

"You know I cannot find you attractive while you are pregnant. Good thing I have kept in contact with so many of my ex-girlfriends!"

Should she just come right out and say it? Would that be too much of a shock? Maybe she should flatter him first, to get him in a good mood before she told him. Suddenly her thinking time was cut short as Juandissimo appeared before her.

"Si mi amour?" he asked flexing his muscles. "What is it?"

"I have something to tell you Juandissimo," she said, sitting a little straighter. "Something important." She paused, and Juandissimo looked at her expectantly.

"Yes?" he prompted.

"Well, this might come as a bit of a shock…" she warned.

Juandissimo laughed and flexed his muscles again, this time so that his shirt ripped off. "I can handle it."

Blonda looked at his smug expression and got a sudden desire to wipe it off his face.

"I'm pregnant," she said bluntly. The reaction was immediate. Juandissimo's arms fell and his shirt reappeared with a feeble 'pop'. He looked at her with a growing expression of horror, his mouth opening and closing as though he wanted to say something but no sound could come out. He made a few distressed little sounds and then poofed out of the room. Blonda sighed; she had been right, he did exactly what she had suspected. Still, she couldn't ignore the feeling of disappointment. She had hoped she'd been wrong, that he would stick with her through this. But no, he'd had his fun and now he could bail, leaving her behind with a baby.

Before Blonda could even start imagining what horrible things her father would do when he found him (and serve him right), Juandissimo reappeared. Blonda was too shocked for a moment to say anything, but quickly regained her voice to mutter a cold, "I didn't think I'd see you here again."

"Blonda, my love, please forgive me," said Juandissimo, flying down and taking her hand. "I was…surprised. It was the first thing I thought of to do."

"Your first thought was to leave me?" said Blonda angrily, pulling her hand away sharply.

"No, of course not!" exclaimed Juandissimo. "I simply had to let what you had told me sink in."

"And now that it has?" said Blonda, folding her arms and fixing him with a firm look, waiting for his answer.

"I am thrilled of course!" said Juandissimo happily, pulling Blonda into a hug.

"What?" asked Blonda, surprised.

"I am happy, of course! I thought I would never have a child, but now I am I love it! I like the idea of a little Juandissimo flying around Fairy World. And it does not hurt that it is with someone almost as beautiful as me," he added, grinning at her.

"So, you're happy about this?" said Blonda incredulously. "You're glad I'm pregnant?"

"Yes Blonda!" exclaimed Juandissimo. "I know that you must feel so relieved by this."

Blonda was silent as Juandissimo continued to hug her. She felt something alright, but relief wasn't it. It was more…shock. She was shocked Juandissimo was so thrilled, and the fact was his happiness unnerved her.

"This has been a long day," she murmured, poofing up a mug of her favourite coffee. She needed something to make her feel better and help her ignore the weird feeling inside. Suddenly she felt the drink snatched form her hand.

"Hey!" she exclaimed angrily, glaring at Juandissimo who was now holding her coffee.

"You should not have coffee when you are pregnant, Blonda. I won't let you put my baby at risk."

"Juandissimo," growled Blonda dangerously. "Give me back my coffee right _now_!"

"No," he answered simply.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!" She made a sudden lunge for it but Juandissimo was able to hold her back easily. Realising resistance was futile against someone stronger than she was, she gave in. "Fine," she said sulkily. "Keep the stupid coffee. I don't care."

Smiling smugly at his victory, Juandissimo poofed the drink away.

"And you can wipe that smile off your face," snapped Blonda, spotting his expression. "I still haven't told Wanda, so you can come with me when I do it now."

"Gladly!" said Juandissimo, his smile staying smug. "I cannot wait to see little Cosmo's face when he realises… or more, _if_ he realises, that I am a superior man to him. But of course, how can he not, when it is so obvious?"

"Yeah, that's great," said Blonda, flying off the couch and looking annoyed. "Can we just go already?"

---

Cosmo was sitting on Timmy's bed bouncing Allie on his knee. He was making clicking noises with his tongue so he sounded like a horse galloping. Wanda had forbidden him from turning into a real horse for these games, so he made do with pretending. Allie seemed to enjoy it anyway, so he didn't mind too much.

Their game was interrupted by Blonda and Juandissimo poofing into the room. Cosmo stopped bouncing his daughter and looked up at them, his smile fading.

"Cuzco, where's Wanda?" snapped Blonda. "I need to talk to her!"

"Uhm, she's asleep," answered Cosmo. "And it's Cosmo…"

"Don't care! Just go and get her!"

Cosmo gulped and nodded then quickly poofed into the fishbowl with Allie, mostly so that Blonda would stop yelling at him. He was seriously debating wether he should wake up Wanda or not. Wanda would be furious if he did, and Blonda would be furious if he didn't. Which sister was he more scared of? He flew into his and Wanda's room still thinking. Eventually he decided that he would wake Wanda up. Then if they were both that angry, they could start yelling at each other rather than at him.

"Wanda," he said softly, gently shaking his sleeping wife. "Wanda."

She feebly tried to make him stop, but he persisted in waking her up.

"Whadya want?" she murmured grumpily, rolling over and burrowing under the blankets.

"Blonda's here. She says she wants to talk to you."

Wanda groaned and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Alright Cosmo, I'm up!" She yawned and stretched before saying, "Blonda better have a good reason for waking me up. It'd be just like her to get me up with no good reason." She floated out of bed and poofed out of the fishbowl, with Cosmo and Alska close behind her.

They reappeared in front of Blonda and (to Wanda's surprise) Juandissimo.

"What do you want Blonda?" asked Wanda rather snappily, glancing from her twin to her ex-boyfriend.

"I want to talk to you," said Blonda, matching Wanda's tone. "I've got something important to tell you."

"It had better be important," said Wanda grumpily. "_Some_ people, Blonda, are only getting 4 hours of sleep a night because _they_ have a baby that won't sleep properly! I know you don't understand about babies, or anything other than yourself, but…"

"Well I guess that's too bad for me, because I'm pregnant!" snapped Blonda. She hadn't meant to yell it out so suddenly, but her nerves had been pushed to the limit by Wanda. And besides, the reaction on the pink-haired fairy's face was worth it. Wanda had completely frozen, her mouth open in the middle of her rant at Blonda. Her face had an expression of pure shock on it, and her wide-open eyes flicked between Blonda and Juandissimo.

"Yes, just found out a week ago," said Blonda, suddenly pleasant, with a good degree of her sudden smugness coming through. "Juandissimo and I are thrilled, naturally, and Daddy was just as pleased when I told him. I guess you're not going to be the only one with a baby soon Wanda. But of course, I'll be able to get more than four hours of sleep, I'm sure," she finished with a light laugh.

"You're…you're _pregnant_?" said Wanda, finally finding her voice. "_Pregnant_?"

"Yes, I am," said Blonda with a smile, thoroughly enjoying Wanda's shock. "Doctors confirmation and everything."

"I…I don't believe it," was all Wanda could say.

"Just wait a minute here," said Cosmo with a slight frown, speaking for the first time. "Am I right in thinking that this means you're going to have a baby too?"

Everyone rolled their eyes and ignored him.

"Just thought I'd stop by and let you know personally, so you don't have to read about it. It _is_ in all the magazines after all." She indulged herself in a light laugh before continuing. "There _was_ something I wanted to talk to you about privately Wanda, but it can wait until you're more capable of actually forming sentences." With a nod to Juandissimo and a last smile to Wanda, they both poofed out of the room.

"So, are they having a baby then?" asked Cosmo, turning to Wanda.

"Yes, Cosmo, they are. Blonda's actually having a baby." Wanda shook her head slightly, still unable to quite believe it.

"Wow," said Cosmo softly as Alska began to stir. "Hey Wanda, I think you should feed Alska now."

"Huh?" said Wanda, deep in thought and with a slight frown on her face. "Oh, of course. Give her to me then." She took Alska, still with a disbelieving look on her face, and settled down on Timmy's bed to feed her. Cosmo sat quietly next to them and for a while neither of them spoke.

"It's weird," said Cosmo eventually. "That they're having a baby. They're not even married."

"I know sweetie. But not everyone is married when they have a baby. It happens all the time with humans."

"Yeah, I guess." They sat in silence for a while longer. "Wanda, do you think they love each other?"

"Cosmo!" exclaimed Wanda with surprise. "What brought this on?"

"I don't know. I was just wondering what would happen if they didn't."

"I guess they'd go their separate ways."

"And the baby?"

"I don't know Cosmo. Honey, don't worry about it. Blonda and Juandissimo will sort things out for themselves. If you want to worry about something, worry about wether Allie will throw up on you when you're burping her." She passed Alska to Cosmo with a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going for another nap. Have fun sweetie!"


	4. One Simple Rule

An author sat down to write,

But then got a dreadful fright.

People said 'Hey listen dude'

If you don't want to be sued'

Then you should state in a clear and legal manner that Fairly Oddparents and all related names and trademarks do not belong to you, and that they are the property of Nickelodeon and it's parent company Viacom and the intellectual property of Butch Hartman, and then everything will be alright!'

**3. One Simple Rule For Dating My Adult Daughter**

Juandissimo stepped out of the shower, swishing his towel around and singing loudly. He loved the acoustics in Blonda's bathrooms; they made his voice sound even sexier than usual. He waved his towel around, pretending he was a matador as he hummed what he thought what was an appropriate matadorial tune. His fun was interrupted by when he heard a voice behind him say, "Hello Magnifico."

Juandissimo span around with an expression of terror. In front of him floated Big Daddy, a smile on his face and his eyes narrowed.

Juandissimo yelped and quickly wrapped the towel around himself.

"Big Daddy sir, I was not expecting you to be there."

"No, you wouldn't. I was just passing and thought I'd stop by so we could have a little chat. We have some things to discuss."

"Do…do we?" asked Juandissimo nervously.

"Yes," said Big Daddy. "We do." He moved to float in front of a picture on the wall and seemed to be studying it. "Do you know why I let Cosmo live after I found out Wanda was pregnant?" he asked conversationally.

Juandissimo gulped and shook his head.

"Because he was her husband. And, as much as I hate to say it, it was his right as her husband to get her pregnant. Do you know what I mean?"

Juandissimo nodded again, unable to speak.

"You, on the other hand Juandissimo, do not have that protection. You aren't Blonda's husband. It was never your right to do this to her."

Juandissimo began to tremble a little and, feeling extremely vulnerable, glanced to where he had left his wand lying on the bathroom countertop. Panicked, he saw it had gone.

"But you see Juandissimo," said Big Daddy, twirling Juandissimo's wand between his fingers. "I'm a reasonable man. I believe in giving people chances. Which is why I'm giving you the chance to marry Blonda before the baby is born. If you don't, Magnifico, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hurt you as much as you hurt my little girl. Are we clear on that?"

Juandissimo nodded, and Big Daddy threw him his wand.

"Good boy. Oh, and if Blonda asks, this conversation never happened."

Juandissimo nodded once more, and Big Daddy left with a satisfied smirk on his face.

---

"Cosmo, do you hear that?"

Cosmo, lying next to Wanda, listened intently for a few moments. "Uhm, I can't hear anything."

"Exactly!" said Wanda happily. "No Alska crying!"

"Oh yeah!" said Cosmo, a grin spreading over his face. "Maybe she's learnt how to sle…"

"Shhh!" hissed Wanda, slapping a hand over Cosmo's mouth. "Don't jinx it!"

"But…"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

Without another word of protest, Cosmo quickly obliged. When was the last time he'd kissed her like this? Cosmo didn't remember, and right now he didn't care. All he knew was that it ended way too soon as a cry came from Allie's room. They pulled apart and sighed.

"I'll go," volunteered Cosmo woefully. He floated out of bed and out into Allie's room. "Couldn't you have waited just a little bit?" he asked his daughter, who immediately quietened at being picked up.

"Alska still giving you two trouble is she?" asked a voice behind him. Cosmo turned around and saw Big Daddy floating in the doorway.

"Yeah," answered Cosmo with a shrug and a sigh. "Hey, where did you go today?"

"I just had some business to do," answered Big Daddy as he floated over. "How's my favourite grandkid tonight?" he said with a smile, lovingly tickling Alska.

"You'll have another grandkid soon you know," said Cosmo. Big Daddy hissed softly.

"Don't remind me."

Cosmo was silent for a little while, watching Big Daddy tickle Allie.

"Why don't you like Juandissimo?" he asked suddenly.

Big Daddy looked surprised for a moment, before smiling. "I thought you would have understood, being a father yourself now." Seeing Cosmo's blank look, Big Daddy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay Cosmo. Just imagine Alska's all grown up and she's dating. Now just imagine she's dating someone you know isn't nearly good enough for her. Then imagine that low-life violates your little girl." Big Daddy saw the growing look of disgust and horror on Juandissimo's face as he held Alska a little tighter. "That's exactly what Juandissimo did, and that's why I don't like him."

"Oh," said Cosmo. "I get it." He thought for a moment before realising something. "That's why you don't like me isn't it?" he asked sadly. "Because you think I'm not good enough for Wanda."

"Yes," said Big Daddy thoughtfully. "You aren't good enough for Wanda. But you love her Cosmo, and you married her. That counts for something, don't you think?"

"Yeah," said Cosmo, cheering up. "Yeah, it does!"

"Here, I'll take Alska," said Big Daddy. "You get back to bed."

"But…" said Cosmo, as Big Daddy took Alska from his arms. He loved being with Alska and holding her at night. But then again, there was Wanda waiting for him in the next room…

"Goodnight Allie," whispered Cosmo, kissing her on the forehead. He said goodnight to Big Daddy and then flew back to his and Wanda's room.

"Hey Wanda, Big Daddy's looking after Alska, which means we can…Wanda?"

Looking closely, Cosmo could see Wanda had fallen asleep exactly where he'd left her. Sighing, he got back into bed next to her, and was soon fast asleep himself.


	5. Birds Of A Feather

Disclaimer- Eye do knot own Fairly Odd Parents, and eye do knot own Microsoft Word spell chequer, witch has let al of these mistakes thru Let this b a lesson; u cant rely on computers two no about the subtleties of the English language. Watt does u say two that bill gaits? Hmm?

Anyway, on with the story (hopefully free of too many errors).

**4. Birds Of A Feather**

Cosmo was on Alska's room, watching her sleep. He thought she looked almost unbearably cute, and grinned to think how much trouble she could be awake. He heard someone poof in behind him and thought it might be Wanda, until he felt a hand grab his shoulder that was certainly not hers. He spun around and found himself staring into the purple eyes of his old rival, Juandissimo Magnifico.

"Juandissimo! What are you doing here?" he gasped.

"I can not believe I am about to say this, but I need your advice!" said Juandissimo dramatically.

"Advice? About what?" Cosmo was extremely puzzled. Few people had ever asked his advice before, and he never thought Juandissimo Magnifico would be one of them.

"No! Not here!" said Juandissimo, glancing around him nervously. He poofed them out of Allies room before Cosmo even knew what was happening, and they reappeared in a bar Cosmo recognised immediately.

Juandissimo ordered two large lemonades from the barkeeper. They were poofed up immediately.

"Drink up," Juandissimo encouraged, downing half of his own glass in one gulp.

"Actually, I don't really…" Cosmo began to explain.

"Drink!"

"Okay!" agreed Cosmo timidly. He gulped down half his glass and felt the bubbles go up his nose. His eyes watering, Cosmo thought back to the last time he'd been in this bar drinking lemonade, and wondered why Juandissimo had brought him here.

Juandissimo thunked down his empty glass on the bar, ordered a refill, and turned to his green haired companion.

"Cosmo, the reason I brought you here tonight is because I want your advice about women."

Cosmo studied Juandissimo seriously for a moment.

"You want my advice."

"Yes."

"About women."

"Yes."

"Ha! Hahahahhahahahahahahaahaa!" Cosmo thumped his fists on the bar, laughing loudly. "That's a good one!"

"But Cosmo, I am serious. As unlikely as it seems, I think you can help me."

"Oh yeah, how?" asked Cosmo, still grinning.

"Wanda," said Juandissimo. Cosmo stopped smiling and narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"What do you mean, Wanda? She said that you were over her. I thought you liked Blonda now."

"Si Cosmo, I do. Do not think for a moment that I would want to split up you and Wanda. True, for a long time it was my greatest dream, to finally have Wanda for myself…but those days have passed. I love Blonda now."

"Wait, you love her?" said Cosmo, sipping his drink.

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I don't know. That is why I wanted to talk to you. You see, I am going to ask Blonda to marry me."

Cosmo spat his mouthful of lemonade all over the bar. "Sorry," he said meekly to the bar tender before turning to Juandissimo. "You're going to ask her to marry you!" he exclaimed. "When did you decide that?"

"Actually, Big Daddy decided for me," said Juandissimo with a dry laugh.

"What do you mean?" asked Cosmo, confused.

Juandissimo sighed; he'd almost forgotten how stupid Cosmo was. "I mean Big Daddy told me to marry Blonda."

"You mean he wants you to marry her?" asked Cosmo, shocked and somewhat in awe.

"No, not really. He only wants me to because she's pregnant."

"I see," lied Cosmo. "Do you think that if I had gotten Wanda pregnant before we were married, he would have liked me sooner?"

Juandissimo sighed and shook his head, resisting a very strong impulse to smack Cosmo hard around the head. "Big Daddy hates me you moron," he growled, and at this very sombre thought he quickly downed his glass. Cosmo copied and quickly drank his and they both got refills.

"So where do I come in?" asked Cosmo after burping loudly.

"I want to know if I really love Blonda. If I lover her enough to be happily married to her."

"But what difference does it make if Big Daddy is making you marry her anyway?" interrupted Cosmo.

"For once, not such a stupid question. Because if I can convince Big Daddy that not being married to Blonda would be in her best interests (and, of course, in mine), then maybe I can get out of it."

"I see," Cosmo lied again.

"But that is not important right now. I want to know how you knew Wanda was the one. How did you know she was the one fairy you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?"

Cosmo frowned and thought hard. What had attracted him to Wanda all those years ago that let him know she was 'the one'?

"I don't know," said Cosmo after a while. "I just knew, I guess. She made me feel special and safe. She saw past the idiot most people see and believed in me. We're best friends, and she'll always be there for me. And I knew then, and I know now, that no matter how many stupid mistakes I make or how angry she gets at them, she'll always love me and she'll never want me to change."

"Cosmo, that was beautiful," said Juandissimo emotionally.

"Yeah. Yeah it was," said Cosmo, stunned at what he had just said. He didn't realise he was able to express all the feelings he had for Wanda so eloquently. While he knew his words couldn't sum up half of the feelings he had for his wife, he felt he hadn't done such a bad job trying.

Juandissimo was doing his own thinking. Clearly there was more to Cosmo and Wanda's relationship than just lust and physical attraction. Could he say the same for himself and Blonda? They had known each other for a few months; nothing in fairy years. And now he was expected to marry her just like that. He was expected to throw away millennia of a carefree bachelor's existence to marry someone he didn't even know if he loved.

And overwhelming sense of helplessness and confusion settled on him. What did he like about her? What attracted him to her other than her gorgeous looks and perfect body and radiant skin and… Juandissimo shook his head and tried to focus. He liked that she was strong-willed and wasn't afraid to say what she thought or get what she wanted. On the other hand, she was vain, self-obsessed and ego-driven.

Oh God, it was so obvious. Of course he loved her; he had no choice but to love her. Blonda _was_ Juandissimo, and there was no one Juandissimo loved more than himself. When they were together, they had to focus on someone other than themselves. In their case, two wrongs made a right.

But could he really make the sacrifice of marrying her? Juandissimo Magnifico, lover of many, to finally be tied down? He felt with a growing conviction that with Blonda, it would be…not easy, but certainly not impossible.

Cosmo's attention had wandered while Juandissimo was doing his soul-searching and he was startled when Juandissimo suddenly clapped him on the back.

"Cosmo, I must thank you. You have helped me realise that I do love Blonda."

"So, you love her now?" said Cosmo, trying to keep up with the conversation.

"Yes Cosmo, I do love her," said Juandissimo laughing. "I love her! Larry! Another drink for me and my friend here!"

The fairy behind the bar rolled his eyes and poofed up two more lemonades. Juandissimo raised his glass and Cosmo did the same.

"To love," toasted Juandissimo, downing his drink in one gulp.

"To love!" shouted Cosmo, doing the same. "My turn! Two more drinks please!" Cosmo lifted his refilled glass. "To Blonda," he said, nodding his head at Juandissimo.

"To Wanda," he replied, nodding at Cosmo. They drank quickly and Cosmo started giggling and then hiccuped. Juandissimo laughed at him and then hiccuped himself. They started laughing together, the effects of seven lemonades obviously starting to affect them.

Juandissimo suddenly grabbed Cosmo's arm. "Come, Cosmo. We shall go to Blonda, and I shall tell her how I feel!"

"Okay," said Cosmo excitedly. They raised their wands to poof away.

"Hey!" said the barman before they could leave. "You owe me twenty bucks!"

Cosmo searched his pockets worriedly, but Juandissimo held up his hand.

"This is on me. It is the least I can do after the help you have given me tonight." He slammed a $20 note on the bar and they both poofed away. They reappeared in Blonda's bedroom and luckily for them she wasn't there.

"Hmm, she isn't here," said Cosmo, looking around.

"No, she is not here. Now what do we do?"

"We wait, I guess," said Cosmo with a shrug of his shoulders. The he began to grin mischievously. "And I know what we can do to pass the time."

"What?" asked Juandissimo curiously. Cosmo's grin widened and he glanced around as if he knew he was about to do something he shouldn't. After making sure the coast was clear, he poofed up a bag of white, powdery substance.

"Cosmo, is that…?" Juandissimo began.

"Yep! Icing sugar!" said Cosmo triumphantly. "Wanda never lets me have it, but she isn't here now!" He dipped his finger in the powder and licked it. "Hmm, delicious!"

Juandissimo took the bag from Cosmo, eager to have some of the extremely delicious and potent sugar.

Cosmo snatched the bag back and tipped a whole heap into his mouth. "I don't know why Wanda never lets me have it."

"She is such a spoil-sport some times," said Juandissimo.

"Yeah," agreed Cosmo. "Hey, wait! That's my wife! You can't say that about her!"

"Well I just did," taunted Juandissimo.

"That's it!" said Cosmo angrily. He swung his fist back to hit Juandissimo and missed spectacularly. He careened across the room and fell into Juandissimo. Not expecting this, Juandissimo was unable to remain airborne and they both collapsed on the floor.

"Look at what you did!" said Juandissimo angrily.

"Juandissimo," said Cosmo tearfully. "I'm sorry!"

"No Cosmo, I am sorry," said Juandissimo nobly. Fighting back tears, they hugged each other.

"Let's never fight again," sniffed Cosmo, letting Juandissimo help him to stand up.

"We will never fight again, Cosmo," said Juandissimo, putting an arm around his shoulder. "For we are best friends!"

"Yay! Best friends!" cheered Cosmo. "More sugar!"

"Yes! More sugar!" agreed Juandissimo.

"Sugar makes everything better!"

---

Blonda poofed up in her lounge room late that night. She'd had a gruelling of filming and was exhausted from it. Plus she had thrown up twice, so she'd felt awful all day.

She collapsed on the couch, unable to be bothered to fly any more. She had expected Juandissimo to still be up and waiting for her and was disappointed that he wasn't. She could have done with a nice soothing massage as he listened to her complain about her day. She should probably get up and go to bed. She felt her eyes closing…just go to bed…it wasn't that far... Blonda curled up and fell asleep.


	6. The Morning After

Disclaimer- Man, I forgot about these! Haha, sitting up here stating the obvious. 'I, a power dork who writes fan-fiction to be published on the internet, do not own/did not create a highly succesful show/movie/entertainment product, nor belong to the international entertainment industrial who produces them.' ZOMG STFU no way!!!

6. The Morning After

Blonda moaned, waking up slowly. Why was her bed was so uncomfortable? She moaned and rolled over to find Juandissimo and fell right off the couch. Waking up very quickly, Blonda rubbed the back of her head, thankful nobody had been around to see her ungraceful tumble. She yawned and delicately stretched her wings. Flying up with a promise to herself that that would be the last time she fell asleep on the couch, she flew to her room, thinking that a nice lie-in with Juandissimo might make her feel better. She opened the door then stopped dead at the sight that greeted her. "Well of all the mornings _this_ had to happen…"

---

Meanwhile, in Timmy's room, a pink-haired fairy was floating worriedly, holding her baby.

"Daddy, have you seen Cosmo this morning? He didn't come to bed last night and I can't find him anywhere."

"No I haven't, sweet potato," answered Big Daddy, poofing Timmy out of his pyjamas and into his clothes. "I wouldn't worry though."

"Why, do you think he's okay?"

"No, _I_ just wouldn't worry."

Wanda frowned at her father's insensitivity and turned to her godchild.

"What about you Timmy? Did Cosmo say anything to you about going somewhere?"

"No he didn't. Is he missing again?" asked Timmy, a note of concern in his voice.

"I'm afraid so sport."

Before Timmy could comfort Wanda or start thinking of places the fairy could be, Blonda poofed into the room.

"I think I have something that belongs to you," she said, grabbing Wanda's arm and rasing her wand to poof out again.

"Blonda, whatever it is I don't have time. I've got to find Cosmo and…"

"Believe me, you'll have time for this." Not giving Wanda another chance to protest, Blonda poofed them to the hall outside her bedroom. Wordlessly she swung open the door and pushed Wanda inside. What she saw made her gasp then laugh. There on the bed was Cosmo and Juandissimo, lying next to each other fast asleep.

"Aww, that's adorable! And I always thought they hated each other!"

"I think their new-found friendship had some help," said Blonda darkly, pointing to an empty bag on the floor that still had some remanent powder in it. Wanda flew down suspiciously and tasted it.

"Icing sugar," said Wanda grimly. "I've told Cosmo a _million_ times to stay away from it." She tutted and shook her head. "Here, hold Alska for a second, I've got to poof home and tell Timmy Cosmo's okay. Or at least, that I know where he is."

Before Blonda could protest, Wanda bundled Alska into her arms and poofed out of the room.

"Hello baby," said Blonda, holding her awkwardly. Alska gurgled and drooled on her.

"Eww," said Blonda with disgust, holding Alska at arms length. "And to think I'm going to have something like you. You're just lucky this dress wasn't designer."

Alska gurgled and squirmed, uncomfortable in the grip of her aunt. Thankfully for her and Blonda, Wanda reappeared quickly.

"Babies are gross," complained Blonda as she passed her niece back to Wanda.

"You'll be such a good mother Blonda," said Wanda sarcastically.

"Hey, just because I'm not like you!" snapped Blonda. "I never wanted to be a mother! I never asked for this!"

"I bet that's not the story Juandissimo would tell," said Wanda, aberrantly crass.

They glared at each other for a few moments before Wanda's expression softened. She had been kind of harsh.

"Blonda, I'm sorry…" she started to say, but Blonda interrupted her angrily.

"Whatever Wanda. Why don't you just leave?" She was furious at her sister for saying she wouldn't be a good mother. How dare Wanda say that, to rub her face in it when Wanda seemed to be made of nothing but maternal instincts? Wanda had thousands of years of godparenting experience plus a loving husband to help her. Blonda didn't have any of those things.

"Fine, maybe I will!" Wanda was just as angry at Blonda; she always brought out the worst in her. She'd tried to apologise and Blonda just threw it back in her face; it happened since they were kids and Blonda apparently had not grown up since. She was mean, petty and selfish. Wanda was just about to tell her so when she hesitated. It looked like Blonda was about to start crying. Whilst Blonda crying wasn't a very rare event, genuine tears were, and there was real emotion on her face.

"Blonda?" she said gently.

"Just go," she said, turning her back on her.

"No," came Wanda's gentle but firm reply.

"Just take your stupid husband and get out."

"I won't do that Blonda." She knew her sister's pride was getting in the way of her sharing her problems, but it didn't look like she could hold out for long.

Blonda turned around and looked at Wanda fiercely. Wanda returned a calm but determined look. They could both be extremely stubborn when they wanted to be and they could have continued to glare at each other all day. But Blonda's emotions were stretched thin enough. Her resolve weakening and unable to help herself, she started to sob. Wanda gently placed Alska down between Cosmo and Juandissimo and flew over to hug her sister.

"What's wrong Blonda?" she asked gently.

"It's this baby, of course" snapped Blonda in reply. "Wanda, I don't want a baby! I never did! That's why I became an actress instead of a fairy godparent. I wanted to be part of a glamorous power couple, carrying a small dog and sippping down mojitas in between being seen at fashionable parties and going on exotic holidays! I want to be the one looked after and pampered, not me doing it for something else!"

"That's what growing up and being a mother is about, Blonda," said Wanda, unable to keep a tone of annoyance and condescension out of her voice. "Actually thinking about someone _other_ than yourself. And besides," she continued, before Blonda could snap at her, "there's still Juandissimo. He's pleased about the baby at least."

"You mean Mr. Mid-Life-Crisis over there?" she said, glaring at her boyfriend with disdain. "It's only a matter of time before I wake up and find him gone. He even had to go out and get sugared to forget about this mess." Blonda glared at him some more. "And so what if he does want it? I don't! He doesn't care about that, he doesn't have to carry it, he doesn't have to have his life ruined by it! He can leave any time he wants and go back to chasing after whoever he wants and doing whatever he wants."

"You keep going on about wants," snapped Wanda, beginning to get frustrated. "I want this, I don't want that, want want want! This isn't just about you or Juandissimo or what either of you _want_! It's about what you _need_ to do, it's about what the baby needs, it's about you needing to grow up instead of wanting to stay a spoiled brat!"

Blonda eyes flashed with anger. "I think you should go Wanda," she said, in a very soft and dangerous tone, her teeth and fists clenched in fury.

"Fine," said Wanda, floating over to Alska and grabbing Cosmo by the hand. "Thankyou for finding Cosmo for me," she said stiffly.

"Thankyou for being an irritating know-it-all."

Raising her wand and gving one parting glare, Wanda poofed back to Timmy's room, leaving Blonda alone with her thoughts and an unconscious Juandissimo.


End file.
